Stop Sleeping With Your Past and Get Married to Your Future

11.22.13 Posted in ELEVATION by

In the ELEVATION LIFE MASTERY program I empower women to make a fundamental shift in how they create results in their life.

It’s very simple.

Stop sleeping with your past and get married to your future.


You might think this is a play on words, but I’d like to invite you into a new realm of possibility for your live by making this perspective shift.

You see, the results you get in life are created by what you give in life.

When you are not committed to something, you give less of your time and energy and open the door for little bitty tiny results. I’ll give you a perfect example. You are required to do whatever it takes each and every month to put food on the table, pay your electric bill, pay your mortgage and this is ALL a result of one thing : a strong, will to do SOMETHING that creates the financial means to do all of the aforementioned items.

Sally and Jane may drive different cars, eat different types of food and spend different amounts of money, but they would both be hungry and broke without their commitment to do some type of work that creates financial means. If you don’t work, you don’t eat.

It’s quite obvious that people CAN be committed to things that matter to them.

Now here’s a very enlightening and perhaps powerful realization that you must realize.

The ability to eat, drink and have a place to sleep and enjoy an occasional “fun” moment is AS FAR as most people will go in life. You would think they are chained to some sort of INVISIBLE LEASH that keeps them from having all of the other things they secretly wish and hope for. They’ll blame society, friends, circumstances, problems, husbands, wives, children, employers, employees, dogs, cats, birds, weather, their past, for “the reason” for not being able to have what they truly desire in life.

To put this plainly… do you HONESTLY plan to stay on the path you’re on for the next 20 or 30 years?


And most people are not committed to CHANGING anything. So they’re committed to THE SAME of EVERYTHING they already have and everything they’ve already had. Now here’s my question :


I ask this question because I know that you could change your entire life, if you spent 40 hours a week WORKING on changing your life, instead of just spending 40 hours a week WORKING. There’s a difference. This supreme level of commitment is what makes the difference between those who make progress in 6 months vs those who make progress in 6 years. It’s the difference between 5 figures, 6 figures and 7 figures. How committed are you to the FUTURE that you proclaim you want?

How many times have you ever said this (or thought this) to someone:

“You SAY you love me! But your actions say something else”

It’s true. Actions are louder than words. When you are in a committed relationship you don’t answer the phone sometimes, when it’s convenient do you ? (I hope not). You answer the call everyday. You deal with the challenges everyday. You are committed to that person, everyday. You are probably thinking about them throughout the day.

This same intensity must be applied to whatever it is that you are dreaming about for your life. 

Unfortunately, many people are living HALF OF THEIR LIFE because they’re simply not committed to their future. They talk about it, they want it, they tweet about it but in the dark when no one’s watching… when all the lights are out, when all have fallen asleep, the night is still, they are FROZEN still, PARALYZED completely from doing anything to change their life. Not because they can’t, but because there is no EVICTION notice for a dream deferred. Dreams unfulfilled get buried in coffins, along with would be rich and successful men and women. 

Aside from the occasional book they read or the slight urge of inspiration, their future sits in the back of their mind like a cute and fluffy abandoned puppy. Let me explain what this looks like in reality. Maybe this will give you a quick glimpse in the mirror to make sure this isn’t happening to you.

I see:

  • Business owners SETTLING, COMPLACENT, STUCK and COMFORTABLE with their current level of success. Silently cursing their current income, but never fully embracing the changes it takes to reach the next level. Doing whatever it takes to silence the quiet voice that’s screaming to get more clients, charge higher fees and create better products and services.
  • Women SETTLING, COMPLACENT and STUCK in current relationships or marriages. Doing whatever it takes to *blame* the other person, to *explain* away the unhappiness, the friction, the disappointment of not being fully self-expressed, not having fun, excitement, passion, intimacy, and freedom in their relationship.
  • WOMEN SETTLING, COMPLACENT, STUCK and COMFORTABLE with their lifestyle. Dreaming secretly for more lavish living, dreaming to be more confident, more powerful, more influential, dreaming to be an amazing, extraordinary woman with power passion and purpose, but never really taking the leap to BECOME that woman. They’ll start a thing, but won’t finish what they start. Until 3 months later when another flash of inspiration hits them.

There are many more. I’m sure you can think of a few.

But in each of these cases, success, freedom, wealth, happiness, joy and freedom are being SUPPRESSED because of comfort zones.

It’s simply because you are comfortable where you are. And how could you not be? The mortgage is paid, there’s food on the table, there’s clothes on your back and you can get to work to do it all over again in the morning.

Please, make no mistake about it. There is nothing “wrong” with this. Nothing at all.

But if I were to follow you around with a tape recorder and see how truly HAPPY you are, how many moments of pure BLISS you enjoy, or how much LIFE you actually GET everyday? How many moments are you spending DOING WHAT YOU WANT vs doing what you HAVE TO DO… I’m sure I could easily prove one underlying fact.

That you are merely EXISTING and not fully LIVING. 

Because you are not yet MARRIED to your future.

You have NOT put a ring on it.

You have NOT proposed to it.

You have NOT gotten up every day to look and feel your best for it.

You have NOT taken the time to get to know it inside and out.

LIVING means you are growing. An organism that is not springing forth with more life, is dying. And everything in nature MUST evolve.

That’s why you have to get MARRIED TO YOUR FUTURE.

It’s a choice you make to liberate your entire lifestyle. It is the choice you make to LIBERATE your finances, LIBERATE your happiness, LIBERATE your joy, LIBERATE your self-fulfillment, LIBERATE your passion, LIBERATE your spirit. 

But this ELEVATED level of commitment does not work like a light switch. It’s something you turn on and never turn off. It’s something that requires sacrifice, time, energy and sometimes – every fiber of your being.

But WITH that commitment comes the greatest pleasures you’ve ever known. With commitment comes true, long-lasting JOY, HAPPINESS, SATISFACTION, PEACE OF MIND and FULFILLMENT. With commitment you have a business that runs without you, a business that changes lives across the globe, you have a marriage that is filled with outrageous bliss, you have the body you’ve dreamed, you have family time, you have balance, you have TIME, FREEDOM and ENERGY to spend more of your time DOING what you WANT… for no other reason because you CAN.

And when you get MARRIED to your FUTURE… you step into your dream. You live in a world based on what you created from your consciousness, not a world based on what you settle for.

There are ways you can get committed. One way in particular is to make up your mind that you want something GREATER than your PAST.

Until you change your present, you are repeating and reheating your past like leftovers.

So this question is simple : that thing that burns deep within your soul… that thing you want, that lifestyle, that success, that achievement. Capture it in your mind and ask yourself — are you ready to begin LIVING for it? Are you ready to get married to it?

I don’t know what you’re married to.

But if you’re ready for a bigger and better life, it’s time to ELEVATE yourself. Get married to your future and stop flirting with it.


13 Responses to “Stop Sleeping With Your Past and Get Married to Your Future”

  1. Most people who are not married to their future probably lost the basic beginning that give the spring required to grow much later in life

  2. I love what you pour out into so many women. This is empowering. The message definitely makes you think. I for on want more and I can do Morr, Help more! This type of wisdom as it keeps coming will definitely those pf us who care about ELAVATION! Thank you!

  3. Cherie says:

    SHANEL that was awesome! I say yes to the engagement and now the marriage is in motion! Thank you so much for those inspiring words! God Bless You!

  4. Jovan Knowles says:

    Yes. You are so right. Everything in my life is boring! Just feel like I am stuck in a box! I must forever change and marry my future and beyond!

  5. Mandy Urbalejo says:

    This is so encouraging to hear! It’s like you been surveying me for the whole last 5 years!

  6. Jazz Maclin says:

    Funny how we as a woman we ask for a commitment, and we’re no even committed to our own life, the vibrations don’t match. Thank you for shining a new light to commitment. You represent your brand very well. I want to do that self same thing. I can and I will.

  7. Nioka says:

    Excellent blog post Shanel! I hope the message will get across to women who are trying to make changes to their life!

  8. Christina Michele Miller says:

    I was inspired by what you offered regarding commitment to your dream.


  9. renee says:

    The only thing that I will say is that you are on point. With every point and statement that you made.

  10. Zonia Perry says:

    Omg!!!!!! Shanel,

    After reading this blog I sat alone in my living room. Only sofa and wept. The words you spoke literally pierced my soul…… All I can say is HELP!!!!!!!


  11. Ida says:

    You have ” Golden Words” my dear Shanel, your words are so powerful, touching and so true. You can´t just imagine what you are doing in my life each time i read your “Golden Words” and each time listen to them on your videos. I don´t live in the USA but each day i make sure i wake up at here in Germany to read your post.Your “Golden Words” enhance my life, they make me listen more and more to my inner voice and believe more in what i am capable of doing.
    Dr. Maya Angelou said in her poem Phenomenal Woman ”
    Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
    I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
    But when I start to tell them,
    They think I’m telling lies.
    I say,
    It’s in the reach of my arms
    The span of my hips,
    The stride of my step,
    The curl of my lips.
    I’m a woman
    Phenomenal woman,
    That’s me. ”
    Yes you are a Phenomenal Woman and i just love you. I feel so bless to have the opportunity to read your “Golden Words”. You inspire me so much and i am sure every woman who have to chance to read from you too. May God continue to bless you abundantly.

    Your´s Sincerely

  12. Angel Parks says:

    At first I think that my problem, was not having a clear choice on what I wanted to do with my life. Thrwe children later, and the choice has not become clearer because now I am older! Now after the adversity I have a clear choice and now I want to marry my future! Thank u for the insight! I am proclamming it now!

  13. Ashlee says:

    I feel that my way of thinking is really beginning to change. Thank you so much for the inspiration!!! I just finished listening to the 10 ways to ELEVATE your life and I am feeling even more ambitious and excited to take control of my life!
    Thank you so much for taking the time to provide the steps to being successful and becoming an entrepreneur.

Leave a Reply